iMeatloaf
by FinaleUltimacian
Summary: crap title, crap summary. A night out could have some unexpected results. Drunken Karaoke COnfessions! YAY! rated t for what may or may not be underage drinking. SemiSongFic set to a couple meatloaf songs.


"Remind me again why I let you drag us out here?" Freddie demanded of the blonde sitting next to him, her legs draped over his lap. Even after only one beer, he was feeling uninhibited enough to make demands of her. This can't end well.

"1. Because we all need to loosen up and unwind, and 2. Because I made a promise to a friend that I would bring you here tonight."

"And you didn't think to ask if we had plans beforehand?" Carly piped in, drunkenly.

"You woulda' only been with one of your boy-toys, and FredNub has no social life…. So, no, I did not feel the need to ask."

Before she could explain any further, the lights of the small stage at the front of the bar flared to life, illuminating a decent sized karaoke set up, a bored DJ, and a specific, very excited, slightly overweight Shirtless Potato.

"Gibby?" Freddie and Carly exclaimed in unison. "I'm gonna need another drink."

The small television set at the front of the stage, as well as the large screen behind the stage lit up with the words as a hard beat began emanating from the speakers. Gibby, forsaking his usual awkwardness rushed to the front of the stage and began reciting the lyrics. He obviously knew the song well, as he was staring into the crowd. A sly, confident grin spread over his face when he saw the three companions sitting near the back wall of the Lost and Found Tavern.

_I want my money back  
I want my money back_

_It's all or nothing  
and nothing's all I ever get  
Every time I turn it on  
I burn it up and burn it out  
_

"That's really Gibby?" Carly exclaimed "Wow…. Who knew." With that, she reached across the table and took a swig from the beer Freddie had been nursing since they got there. ""Hey, you've got your own." Freddie feigned offense.

"You weren't drinking it." Sam accused. Freddie glared at her, smiled, then downed the remainder of his beer, and signaled the bartender for another.

"Somebody got a shot of liquid courage tonight…." Sam laughed.

_It's always something  
There's always something going wrong  
That's the only guarantee  
That's what this is all about_

It's a never ending attack  
Everything's a lie and that's a fact  
Life is a lemon and I want my money back!

And all the morons  
And all the stooges with their coins  
They're the ones who make the rules  
It's not a game it's just a rout

There's desperation  
There's desperation in the air  
It leaves a stain on all your clothes  
And no detergent gets it out

And we're always slipping thru the cracks (slipping)  
Then the movie's over fade to black  
Life is a lemon and I want my money...

I want my money back  


The rest of the patrons of the bar had stood up at this point, cheering and clapping. They all looked up at the young man on stage and joined him in singing._  
_

_What about love?  
__**It's Defective!**__  
It's always breaking in half_

What about sex?  
_**It's Defective!**__  
It's never built to really last_

What about family?  
_**It's Defective!**__  
All the batteries are shot_

What about friends?  
_**They're Defective!**__  
All the parts are out of stock  
_

Sam, Freddie, and Carly had joined the other patrons, screaming and throwing their fists in the air at the command of the man on stage.__

What about hope?  
_**It's Defective!**__  
It's corroded and decayed_

What about faith?  
_**It's Defective!**__  
It's tattered and it's frayed_

What about your Gods?  
_**They're Defective!**__  
They forgot the warranty_

What about your town?  
_**It's Defective!**__  
It's a dead end street to me_

What about your school?  
_**It's Defective!**__  
It's a pack of useless lies_

What about your work?  
_**It's Defective!**__  
It's a crock and then you die_

What about your childhood?  
_**It's Defective!**__  
It's dead and buried in the past_

What about your future?  
_**It's Defective!**__  
You can shove it up your ass!_

It's all or nothing  
And nothing's all I ever get  
Every time I turn it on  
I burn it up and burn it out

It's a never ending attack  
Everything's a lie and that's a fact  
Life is a lemon and I want my money...  


Everyone screamed out the last line as the music rose to a crescendo then crashed down into silence._  
__**Life is a lemon and I want my money back!**_

__**"**Okay, that was cool." Carly strode toward the stage "But I think I can do better."

"You do?" Gibby handed her the microphone. "I'd like to see that."

"Go, Carly!" Sam and Freddie screamed. Carly walked over to the DJ and whispered something, and then a song by the same artist flashed up onto the screen.

"This is for a special someone in my life. I have strung you along long enough. Time to come clean, Freddie."

Freddie looked up at the screen, puzzled. Realization dawned as the lyrics began scrolling and Carly followed along.

_Baby we can talk all night  
But that ain't getting us nowhere  
I told you everything I possibly can  
There's nothing left inside of here  
And maybe you can cry all night  
But that'll never change the way I feel  
The snow is really piling up outside  
I wish you wouldn't make me leave here  
I poured it on and I poured it out  
I tried to show you just how much I care  
I'm tired of words and I'm too hoarse to shout  
But you've been cold to me so long  
I'm crying icicles instead of tears  
And all I can do  
Is keep on telling you  
I want you (I want you)  
I need you (I need you)  
But-there ain't no way I'm ever gonna love you  
Now don't be sad  
'Cause two out of three ain't bad  
Now don't be sad  
'Cause two out of three ain't bad_

Carly was laying it on thick, looking directly at Freddie through the entire first verse. She strode to the edge of the stage and pointed directly at him.__

You'll never find your gold on a sandy beach  
You'll never drill for oil on a city street  
I know you're looking for a ruby in a mountain of rocks  
But there ain't no Coup de Ville  
Hiding at the bottom of a Cracker Jack box  
I can't lie  
I can't tell you that I'm something I'm not  
No matter how I try  
I'll never be able  
To give you something  
Something that I just haven't got

Freddie stood up and walked to the edge of the raised platform, glaring at Carly. Sam tried to grab his arm, but was not fast enough. He circled around the stage and said something to the DJ, who promptly shut off the music.

"Hey, what gives?" Carly demanded. Freddie walked up to her and snatched the mic out of her hand. "you just do not get it, do you? I'll let this slide, because you are drunk, but you just don't get it. You think you have power over me?"

"I know it." Carly got right in his face "You love me."

"yeah, well, I can't help that. But…" and the music was raised back up. A different song this time, a more well known song by the same artist.

… _I would do anything for love,  
I'd run right into hell and back,  
I would do anything for love,  
I'll never lie to you and that's a fact_

Carly backed away but Freddie kept pace as she retreated._.._

But I'll never forget the way you feel right now  
- Oh no - no way - I would do anything for love,  
But I wont do that, I wont do that, anything for love,  
I would do anything for love, I would do anything for love,  
But I wont do that, I wont do that.

The audience was enthralled, especially the two remaining friends sitting at the back table. __

Some days it don't come easy,  
Some days it don't come hard  
Some days it don't come at all,  
And these are the days that never end.

Some nights you're breathin' fire,  
Some nights you're carved in ice,  
Some nights you're like nothing I've ever seen before, Or will again.

Maybe I'm crazy, But it's crazy and it's true,  
I know you can save me; No one else can save me now but you.

As long as the planets are turning,  
As long as the stars are burning,  
As long as your dreams are coming true - You better believe it! -

That I would do anything for love,  
And I'll be there until the final act -  
I would do anything for love!  
And I'll take a Vow and Seal a pact -

But I'll never forgive myself if we don't go all the way - Tonight -  
I would do anything for love!  
I would do anything for love,  
I would do anything for love,  
But I won't do that, I wont do that...  


Carly had backed herself into a corner, trying to get away from the strange sight in front of her.

_I would do anything for love,  
Anything you've been dreaming of,  
But I just won't do that..._

Some days I pray for Silence,  
Some days I pray for Soul,  
Some days I just pray to the God of Sex and Drums and Rock 'N' Roll.

Some nights I lose the feeling,  
Some nights I lose control,  
Some nights I just lose it all when I watch you dance and the thunder rolls.  


Everyone in the bar was so enraptured wit the drama of the two performers that no one noticed Sam get up and leave, looking very angry.

_Maybe I'm lonely, And that's all I'm qualified to be,  
There's just one and only, The one and only promise I can keep._

As long as the wheels are turning,  
As long as the fires are burning,  
As long as your prayers are coming true - You better believe it - !

That I would do anything for love!  
And you know it's true and that's a fact,  
I would do anything for love!  
And there'll never be no turning back -  


Suddenly, the music cut out again, only to resume a few seconds later. Instead of the generic female backing vocals of the karaoke track, there was a real live girl emerging from behind the DJ. Sam Stepped up on stage with help from the DJ. She strode slowly over behind Freddie, since he was still staring hard at Carly. Carly's eyes widened in panic as Sam grabbed Freddie's shoulder and spun him around forcefully. She purred out the lyrics, every once of sex appeal she could muster poured into the lyrics.

_Will you raise me up?  
Will you help me down?  
Will you help get me right out of this Godforsaken town?  
Will you make it a little less cold?  
_

Freddie recovered from his shock just in time for his next line and with a small laugh, continued the song.

_I can do that!  
I can do that!  
_

Sam:

_Will you hold me sacred?  
Will you hold me tight?  
Can you colorize my life I'm so sick of black and white?  
Can you make it a little less old?  
_

Freddie:

_I can do that!  
I can do that! _

Carly bolted from the stage, diving into the nearest table to watch the inevitable fireworks.

_Will you make me some magic, with your own two hands?  
Can you build an Emerald city with these grains of sand?  
Can you give me something that I can take home?_

Freddie:

_I can do that!  
I can do that!_

Will you cater to every fantasy that I've got?  
Will you hose me down with holy water - if I get too hot - ?  
Will you take me to places that I've never known?  


_I can do that!  
I can do that!  
_

The music slowed as the two began inching towards one another.

_After a while you'll forget everything,  
It was a brief interlude, And a midsummer night's fling,  
And you'll see that it's time to move on.  
_

Freddie met Sam's eyes, not sure whether she was doing all this as some sort of joke, or is there was any meaning behind it at all.

_I won't do that!  
I won't do that!  
_

Sam turned away from Freddie, facing the small audience, her voice dropping in volume and intensity.

_I know the territory - I've been around,  
It'll all turn to dust and we'll all fall down,  
And sooner or later you'll be screwing around.  
_

It was Freddie's turn to spin Sam around, which he did, then dipped her, stopping short so that he was holding her up, all her weight and balance depending on him.

_I won't do that!  
I won't do that!_

Anything for love, I would do anything for love,  
I would do anything for love,  
But I won't do that, I wont do that.

When the final note hit, Freddie took the rare opportunity presented to him and leaned forward, his lips meeting hers. When he attempted to pull away, she quickly threw an arm around his waist. At the unexpected shift, he lost his balance and the both tumbled off the end of the stage to come to a rest at the foot of the table where Carly and Gibby sat, silent.

"So… uh… That happened." Freddie deadpanned, helping Sam to her feet once he was solidly on his own.

"What was that?" Carly asked angrily.

"My answer." Freddie and Sam said in unison.

**There was going to be more, but it is past my bedtime. I will more than likely go back and fix this, and edit some less desirable parts. Gimme some feedback so I know what you guys liked or didn't. Lata.**


End file.
